Post by def on Apr 30, 2023 9:23:01 GMT -6
Day 4 of the NFL Draft...News Report...a transcript...
The die hard Lions fans gathered in KC on Day 4 of the draft even though there were no picks. With an empty palladium they joined hands and said a small prayer. No one was around. Then the ringleader, a guy named def took out a voodoo doll of the Holy Madonna and doused it in gasoline. Collectively they lit their bics and the voodoo doll erupted in an explosion that many would report later was felt all the way to KC BBQ, a local BBQ spot down the street. After dusting the suet off of them, this group of die hard Lions fans summoned the Ghost of Bobby Layne. It took seven hours and seven half gallons of Old Smuggler and Scoresby, but the Holy Trinity of 7 was completed by these 7 mofos with 7 official grid lock machines, the kind used by real 👻 Ghost busters to lock evil spirits away for eternity. That ghost of Bobby Layne is one ornery and surly motherfuxker, know that. It took another reading from the scripture and another burned effigy of Joey Harrington to excercise this Bobby Layne demon. For all intent and purpose it is this group of Lion fan nutjobs that have successfully seemingly reversed the curse of Bobby Layne (knock on a crucifix)
When asked site leader Tech said this, "def got drunk and basically kidnapped us to perform this ritual. But I have to get back to my many Detroit businesses."
Vic Turner, another Lions fans nut said, "anytime you have a legitimate excuse to stop this wretched curse of Bobby Layne, you do it for the franchise, no questions asked. And the booze was free!"
Felix, another die hard was at the ceremony and said, "what day is it? Is it done? I can't keep doing this every year. Where's the whiskey?"
Golden, another transplant die hard mother fucker who brought cocaine to the ritual said, "I'm not really sure what's going on, aside from some crazies coming up with an excuse to get shit faced, but that's why I'm here. And the cocaine was sponsored by Dr. Fauci."
Badnews predicted the draft pick by pick, a feat that would have netted him over 1 million dollars if he simply bet 100 on each pick, due to the crazy odds of this happening.
Trump brought homebrew to the even that was even stronger than the whiskey and if it wasn't for hunter and his taxi service they would have never made it back to Detroit.
Strongbad and Rusty Hilger were unavailable for comment, they were passed out naked and drunk.
Personally the city of Kansas City is relieved they are gone. Much like the Lions team itself, these Lions fans are pretty damn scary.
Back to you mofos in the booth...
The die hard Lions fans gathered in KC on Day 4 of the draft even though there were no picks. With an empty palladium they joined hands and said a small prayer. No one was around. Then the ringleader, a guy named def took out a voodoo doll of the Holy Madonna and doused it in gasoline. Collectively they lit their bics and the voodoo doll erupted in an explosion that many would report later was felt all the way to KC BBQ, a local BBQ spot down the street. After dusting the suet off of them, this group of die hard Lions fans summoned the Ghost of Bobby Layne. It took seven hours and seven half gallons of Old Smuggler and Scoresby, but the Holy Trinity of 7 was completed by these 7 mofos with 7 official grid lock machines, the kind used by real 👻 Ghost busters to lock evil spirits away for eternity. That ghost of Bobby Layne is one ornery and surly motherfuxker, know that. It took another reading from the scripture and another burned effigy of Joey Harrington to excercise this Bobby Layne demon. For all intent and purpose it is this group of Lion fan nutjobs that have successfully seemingly reversed the curse of Bobby Layne (knock on a crucifix)
When asked site leader Tech said this, "def got drunk and basically kidnapped us to perform this ritual. But I have to get back to my many Detroit businesses."
Vic Turner, another Lions fans nut said, "anytime you have a legitimate excuse to stop this wretched curse of Bobby Layne, you do it for the franchise, no questions asked. And the booze was free!"
Felix, another die hard was at the ceremony and said, "what day is it? Is it done? I can't keep doing this every year. Where's the whiskey?"
Golden, another transplant die hard mother fucker who brought cocaine to the ritual said, "I'm not really sure what's going on, aside from some crazies coming up with an excuse to get shit faced, but that's why I'm here. And the cocaine was sponsored by Dr. Fauci."
Badnews predicted the draft pick by pick, a feat that would have netted him over 1 million dollars if he simply bet 100 on each pick, due to the crazy odds of this happening.
Trump brought homebrew to the even that was even stronger than the whiskey and if it wasn't for hunter and his taxi service they would have never made it back to Detroit.
Strongbad and Rusty Hilger were unavailable for comment, they were passed out naked and drunk.
Personally the city of Kansas City is relieved they are gone. Much like the Lions team itself, these Lions fans are pretty damn scary.
Back to you mofos in the booth...